Lima Beans & 5 Other Reasons to Be Single

I am adjusting to being single. I haven't been single in ... well, eight years. As I sat staring into my cabinets tonight, it struck me. I can have whatever I want for dinner. I don't have to worry about what anybody else wants. So, I decided that I would eat lima beans and nothing else for dinner. I love lima beans and I haven't eaten them in probably two years. The last trip to the grocery store I bought lima beans intending to force Olivia to eat them, but no... this was a better use of them. I celebrated. I threw them in with a little butter, some evoo, chicken buillon, salt and pepper... and I ate the whole bowl. Then I got to thinking.... what other benefits are there to being single?? I used my Twitter family as a sounding board... and suddenly.... single ain't lookin' so bad....

1. You get the whole bed to yourself... and all the pillows too. I'll admit, the first few nights in the bed alone are lonely.... but the first time you come home dead-ass tired and collapse in the middle of the bed, sprawled out and fall fast asleep.... the grass starts to look a little greener.

2. Nobody else is gonna eat the last piece of cake..... or drink the last Coke... or use the last of the toilet paper.... You can leave something somewhere... and it's gonna be right there when you come back. No notes, no reminding them it's for the birthday party at work. Your fridge, and everything else in your house belongs solely to you again.


3. Time with your friends. Hell, time for anything you wanna do with your time. Let's face it... relationships are time killers. They take a signifcant, ridiculous amount of time. Now... I plan on having drinks with friends, working out, playing with Olivia more, hell.... maybe I'll even learn another language.

4. Money. The reality is, single people live cheaper. You aren't responsible for anyone else's mess....you don't have to buy Christmas or birthday presents for them or their family....their credit and late bills don't effect you....you get out of spending money on Valentine's day... save it or pamper yourself with it.. either way, you're coming out ahead.

5. You don't have to answer the phone. Go ahead, hit decline. And what's better than that?? You don't owe them an explanation either. You aren't accountable to anyone. Welcome to freedom. I am single, and I'll do what the fuck I want... thank you very much.