10:40

I've been quiet.
There isn't much to report.
I pretty much cut
everyone out.


None of them were right.
I'm starting from scratch.
Beginning to think
that nobody shares my interests
that nobody wants to be in love
that nobody will ever
meet my expectations
or make me smile
or compliment me


I need a change of scenery.
I don't think this is the place for me.
My family would throw a fit if I left.
Mostly because of Olivia...
*sighs*


I wanna scream.
punch something.
I feel stir crazy.
The cold weather isn't helping.
I need to get out of the damn house.
do something.


Dating as a single mother is
virtually impossible.
I think the complexity comes in
because I've never been one of those
mothers who could just drop her kid off
and go out to the bar.
or anywhere for that matter...
What if she wakes up?
and wants me?
and I'm not there?
I'm miserable when I go out...
thinking about her at home.
but the feeling of being a prisoner
in my own home from
8pm to 8am while she sleeps
is suffocating me.
Going out is a catch 22.


apparently, the ways
I've been meeting men aren't working.
I don't know where else to look.
I guess they say as soon as you
stop looking it comes to you.
I'm impatient.
I'm ready for the next phase of my life.
I just want a partner to do it with.
I'm ready to get started NOW.
I suppose I could do it on my own.
I've got the house.
I've got the kid.
I've got the cars.
I just want to build a life together...
with someone....
and I'm tired of waiting on him.