So, for those of you who are following my attempt to re-enter the dating world, it is important to note the events of yesterday. I found out "wine and cheese" is married. I know, I couldn't believe it either. I finally make an attempt to date a "better caliber" of a man, and this is what happens?!?! I've been shaking my head for 24 hrs straight.The funny thing is, I don't even care. No, I don't mean I am going to keep seeing him. I mean it didn't even really phase me. I'm not all that surprised. I didn't cry. I'm not angry or hostile. In fact, mostly.... I've laughed. I'm officially jaded. I'm numb. I've been hurt and knocked down and scorned to the point where I've hit rock bottom.
And I'm okay with that. I feel resolved. I feel wise and like I've been through it all. I'm resilient, and I feel empowered.
I know that now is not the time for love for me. Now is the time for me to focus on Olivia and my career. Its time to spend time with her that I can never get back. Its not time to worry about pleasing another person or working dating into my already chaotic schedule.
I jumped back in too soon. I didn't even test the water. So, for now... you can find me in the shallow end with Olivia... splashing in our floatees. And who knows... maybe sometime towards the end of the summer I'll skim the dating pool with my big toe... just to test the waters.
