"Come home late. It seems you barely beat the sun. Tappin' my shoulder, thinking you gon' get you some. Smellin' like some fragrance that I don't even wear. If you want some lovin', I suggest you go back there."
1. Strange Cell Phone Habits
Is his phone locked all of a sudden? Are there a million numbers with names you've never heard of?? (Slim, Moonbeam, VW, or the ever popular "unnamed") Does he take all his phone calls outside or to the other room?? Or just plain put it on silent?? Leave it in the car to charge all night cuz he "lost his house charger again"?? cheater.
2. Gossip.
I know, men are cringing right now. I'm not by any means saying listen to all gossip.... there are plenty of haters and cock-blockers out there. We all know this.... but when your five best girlfriends all saw him with the same bitch at the mall, out to dinner and at the club. Listen. Please don't fall for the much used "she's just a friend, it was my sister, your friends are hating and just wanna fuck me" That Ciara "So what" philosophy only goes so far.
3. Repetitive Date.
Aww... how sweet.. He took you to your favorite restaurant... AGAIN. Cuz it's "your spot"?? Maybe... or maybe its because he doesn't wanna chance running into someone else. If he steers clear of a certain side of town or won't go to certain places for no good reason... you can bet she or her friends work or live near there.
4. Unusual Shower Habits
Lucky you, your man always smells zestfully fresh. LMAO. If he comes home and jumps right in the shower, raise your eyebrow girlfriend. Unless he's coming from the gym, this behavior isn't normal. I mean, yeah.. a guys gotta shower... but if he showered right before he left and just "feels like his nuts are sweaty" after playing PS3 with his boys... go ahead and slap him now. You have my permission.
5. Odd Items
You've never seen those panties before. He swears they're yours. You aren't crazy, he's full of it. This also goes for random earrings and tubes of lipgloss.
6. New (additional) Grooming Habits
Aside from scrubbing himself raw... If he's taken a sudden interest in wearing new cologne, buying new boxers, or dressing differently... you have reason for suspicion.
7. MIA
He went to the gas station for a cigar and he's been gone for two hours?? In your car???... AND he can't answer his phone?? Man, fuck that dude. I hate that dude. He can die. Let's make a deal with God that he can give Michael Jackson back and take that asshole instead. SMFH. (this also goes for Mr. "I'm on my way".. and shows up four hours later.
8. Lipstick on the Collar.
It's a classic. No explanation needed.
9. Cell Phone Records and Credit Card Bills.
CLARIFICATION: Unless they are in BOTH of your names... you don't TECHNICALLY have a right to look at these and ALL arguments will be nullified by your lack of respect for his privacy ... (the same could be said for his actual cell phone)
BUT... if you just so happen to see it.... cuz he left it on his desk... Muthafucka, that shit was fair game....
10. Guy Time
He's suddenly with his friends all the time. And what more? Apparently you've been together for three years and "don't know these guys".... It's probably because they don't exist... and if you have been together for three years and haven't met his friends... rest assured, you are NOT the only one.
