Top 5 Ways NOT To Handle a Break-Up

5. Stalking.

We get it. We've been together for a couple of years and you know the routine. This does not give you license to show up places where you know I'll be. You didn't play pool at the bar on Wednesdays the whole time we were together, but now your friends just insisted on coming here tonight? Not buying it.

4. Property Destruction.

Oh girl, trust me... I know. You sooo wanna see that stupid project car he spent every fucking Saturday of your relationship working on with it's windshield busted out, it's tires slashed, and SORRY BASTARD keyed into the hood. 28 inch rims don't look good on flat, do they bitch??? Still... not worth it. The legal repercussions are too much to consider this option. Nobody else could have done it, and one of his friends WILL lie and say they saw you do it. Don't.

3. Buying 'Em Back With Presents

Or worse... burning them a sappy cd of all the songs that remind you of them. There is nothing more pathetic than finding something on your windshield with an "I miss you" note. Don't buy gifts, don't offer to pay their bills, or give them an engagement ring. Save your money to buy your ass some dignity.

2. Private Calls

I never got a private call before we broke up, and now I get six per day. I wonder who it could be? It's not a bill collector heavy breathing in the phone at 2 am. Again, charges can be pressed... or she'll end up changing her number and then you can't even call her if you REALLY do need her. Move along.

1. Faking a Pregnancy.

Bitch, please. You had unprotected sex for two years without getting knocked up by this guy and three days after your break-up you "think you're pregnant" You are the reason women get a bad rap. Kill yourself.... before you have to make up another lie about having a miscarriage or and abortion.

Silent Treatment

Apparently I'm getting the silent treatment at work today from this guy. I'm pretty damn sure that I didn't do anything. Last time I saw him was Saturday, and all was fine... but first thing this morning... silent treatment. For a minute I sat, racking my brain wondering what I could possibly have done.

I came to the conclusion that it didn't matter if I've done anything or not. This guy is an idiot. I have yet to see him handle a conflict in a positive manner. He's a hot-head... he flies of the handle about every little thing. He's always threatening to quit. He got in a screaming match with another employee just last month.

How do some people end up with such a lack of coping skills? How do you end up 38 years old and giving someone the silent treatment? What's next??? Will he be passing messages through other co-workers? I can see it now "Luke, will you please ask Kat if she's done with the cost book?"

Grrr.... I can handle a lot of things (losing my little sister, father, house and car to a hurricane, career and relationship all within six months) but immaturity I have a hard time with. How do I respond? My immature inner child tells me to give him the silent treatment too. The boss in me reminds me that I am his boss and that I could reprimand this behavior.

The reality is he doesn't respect me because I'm younger than him. I've been dealing with this problem in management for ten years now, and somehow I'm still always younger than the people who work for me. The hot-head in ME wants to remind him that I have more formal education, management experience, and job experience in this field than he does.... but, instead I decide that our actions speak for themselves, respectively.

His review will be here soon enough and the weight of my opinion in this company will speak for itself then. So, I'm going to be mature and wait this one out.... but that doesn't mean I won't be daydreaming about putting thumb tacks in his chair.