Thursday, January 28, 2010

Let Me Make Something Clear....

I don't live my life for you.
I don't write my blog for you.
If I wanted or cared for your opinions,
I'd read your blog....
or maybe at least your tweets...
hell, maybe I'd even read and respond
to the tweets you send directly to me...
but, alas, I don't.


But the fact of the matter is that YOU
followed ME on Twitter...
you read MY blog..
You even went so far as to find me on
facebook and make me a part of your
life there too.


The question is why?
Why, with all the negative things you
have to say about me...
do you continue to be so intrigued by me?


It's because those negative things you say...
That's what we around here like to call
HATING.
I'm the girl you WISH you could be.
So, hang out... continue to read..
and this time, take notes.


I'm not saying that I'm better than you.
Although, I can spell simple words...
which you seem to have an issue with...


What I'm saying is,
I'm the type of girl you love to hate.
I'm all the things you wish you could be...
and it drives you crazy.
You watch my style, you mock my behavior,
you study my grammar and my relationships..
and when you realize you can't be me...
you sit, alone, in your shitty apartment
with your unkempt children and all your anger
towards men and look for someone to blame.


You chose to blame me.


You say I'm conceited.
It's the confidence you wish you could have.
You say I'm a whore.
While longing for my level of comfort with sexuality.
You say I'm condescending.
But it's really your intellectual insecurity.
You say I'm online too much.
You're angry because your dead end job and
three children don't afford you the time.

You say I'm ugly.
I focus on the things I find beautiful about myself.
You say I have two sides, and I'm fronting.
My ability to be multi-faceted is something I pride myself on.
You say I act black.
Or is it that I'm embraced by people who shun you?


The truth is you find yourself struggling.
You're unhappy and refuse
to take a long, hard look at yourself.
You're searching for other people to blame.
You concern yourself with what I'm doing
instead of taking personal responsibility
for you and your children.
You blame women like me for not being able to find
a good man.
The way you conduct yourself, and that alone,
determines how much respect you will receive.
The men you date don't know me and I don't shape
how they treat you.
you wanna make this a global problem..
throwing out things like
"You make a bad name for white women
everywhere"
Pull your head out of your ass.
People get disrespected in relationships every single day.
Regardless of color..
Regardless of gender...
Regardless of status...
The problem is in YOUR mentality.
It rarely crosses my mind that my relationship
is interracial.
A man, is a man, is a man.
Maybe if you weren't so busy drawing color lines
and blaming racial differences, you'd get to the root
of the issues.


YOU aren't being respected
based on YOUR actions.
YOU made critical errors in
shaping YOUR life. YOU are
the reason YOU don't have the
life YOU want.


Now, I suggest you go back and re-read my blogs.
Please note:
1. I have TWO college degrees
2. I have ONE child, by ONE man
3. I own my own home, at 28, by myself.
4. I own TWO vehicles, both paid for.
5. I don't have perfect relationships, but before you call me a whore...
ask yourself if you're mad that you don't have options.... recognize that out of the men I write about... 1 is the father of my child, 1 is my ex-fiancee who I was with for almost three years, 1 is the guy I'm currently seeing, and the others I don't even sleep with. Hardly makes me a whore, does it?
6. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm proud of the way I live my life and the choices that I make. I put everything out there... so it doesn't make me angry when you discuss it... it makes me angry when you don't read carefully enough and you misinterpret. Your confusion comes in where you are filling in the blanks in a life that you know nothing about.


You might read my blog, but bitch... YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

Now Playing:

Super Chameleon