Divorce Cakes

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Clarity

The property of being clear or transparent.

Clarity refers to one's ability to clearly visualize an object or concept.

The Zen concept of 'no mind', or other terms denoting general clear and unperplexed cognition.

Anyone who speaks to me regularly knows that I've been on a hiatus, of sorts. Thankfully, my hiatus has been more of a journey... a coming to terms with things and people in my life.

I needed a break. I needed the time to focus on me and to get back to who I am... and to also redefine who I am. It has been years since I've felt like myself. To be exact, it has been four years since Hurricane Katrina and four years since I've felt like myself.

2005 was a hell of a year. Within three months I lost my little sister, my first home and everything I owned in Katrina, a relationship of five years.... and the most important person in my life, my Dad.

When you lose so much at one time, and so many things that are such a big part of you..... the feeling of lost doesn't even begin to cover it. I had no idea who I was without my career, my home, my family, the love of my life and the town that held all my memories.

In this time of trouble, I made a bad decision. I chose to avoid getting to know me. In fact, I've put it off for four years. Instead, I chose to throw myself head-first into worrying about what everyone else needed. I invested all of my energy in other people. Mainly the father of my child and my most recent ex. I allowed myself to be abused, used and let them control me to the point that it was impossible to be myself on any level.

I also had Olivia. She's the biggest blessing in my life, but as any mother knows... having a child completely redefines who you are on so many levels.

Needless to say... All of these things only added to the the cloudiness and muddled mess that became my mind. I've kept myself above water.... mentally, emotionally and physically.... but its been a long time since I've thrived.

Anyway... It finally hit me like a ton of bricks. I finally got to a point where I knew that something had to change. There were things that I needed to make peace with, there were things I needed to let go, and things that I need to discover.

I forgot where I came from and what makes me whole. I put so much energy into some areas of my life and completely neglected so many others. I was off balance.... bad.

So, I took a deep breath, breathed a huge sigh of relief, felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders, weeded out the people who I was allowing to hold me back, partnered with the friends that make me stronger and who can help me remember who I am... and for the first time in a long time.... I saw things for what they really are.... with complete clarity.

I'm back to being me.

Love ~ Worship ~ Don't Leave Home Without

1. Laptop

2. Mignon Faget Jewelry

3. My David Yurman Ring

4. My Cell. Of course.

5. Tortoise Shell Bangle Bracelet.

6. NARS blush in color Deep Throat.

7. Dolce and Gabbana Sunglasses. (J'adore Dior too!)

8. My Burberry Bag. I just can't leave it alone.

9. OPI Nail Polish (smokin' in havana)

10. The Body Shop - Neroli Jasmine Spray

11. Carol's Daughter Ecstasy Body Butter

12. Month at a Glance Calendar. I'd be lost without it.

13. Barrettes (Juicy couture barrette fanatic)

14. Urban Decay - Midnight Cowgirl Eyeshadow

15. Super Volume Mascara. I look asleep without it.

16. Abercrombie 8 Perfume. (I know, I need to let it go)

17. MAC Lip Glass. The end all.

Ten Things I Love About Summer

1. The World Smells Like Coconut.

2. Sno - Cones

3. Fireworks

4. Convertibles

5. NFL Training Camp --- Football is right around the corner.

6. Frozen Drinks

7. Flip Flops

8. Swimming ... pool or the beach, it doesn't matter.

9. Sunglasses

10. Grilling.

10 Beds I Wanna "Sleep" In

brings a whole new meaning to wet sheets, doesn't it??

Oh, c'mon now! Everyone has to try the sleezy heart shaped bed once!

I'm not sure the Rotating bed wouldn't make me sea sick, but I'm willing to try!

I know I couldn't handle sleeping on the actual sand, but I think I could handle this.

I know... but something kinda naughty about a girly/princess/silky/canopy bed =)

BUT FIRST .. I need to know how sturdy that chandelier is.... jussayin.

I'm betting this is a lot easier on the knees than the regular bath/shower thing.

It's just cool.

Fit for a king... and his queen ;)

It's the interior designer in me.... I love this headboard and I wonder what building those windows face???

10 Red Flags for Cheaters

"Come home late. It seems you barely beat the sun. Tappin' my shoulder, thinking you gon' get you some. Smellin' like some fragrance that I don't even wear. If you want some lovin', I suggest you go back there."

1. Strange Cell Phone Habits

Is his phone locked all of a sudden? Are there a million numbers with names you've never heard of?? (Slim, Moonbeam, VW, or the ever popular "unnamed") Does he take all his phone calls outside or to the other room?? Or just plain put it on silent?? Leave it in the car to charge all night cuz he "lost his house charger again"?? cheater.

2. Gossip.

I know, men are cringing right now. I'm not by any means saying listen to all gossip.... there are plenty of haters and cock-blockers out there. We all know this.... but when your five best girlfriends all saw him with the same bitch at the mall, out to dinner and at the club. Listen. Please don't fall for the much used "she's just a friend, it was my sister, your friends are hating and just wanna fuck me" That Ciara "So what" philosophy only goes so far.

3. Repetitive Date.

Aww... how sweet.. He took you to your favorite restaurant... AGAIN. Cuz it's "your spot"?? Maybe... or maybe its because he doesn't wanna chance running into someone else. If he steers clear of a certain side of town or won't go to certain places for no good reason... you can bet she or her friends work or live near there.

4. Unusual Shower Habits

Lucky you, your man always smells zestfully fresh. LMAO. If he comes home and jumps right in the shower, raise your eyebrow girlfriend. Unless he's coming from the gym, this behavior isn't normal. I mean, yeah.. a guys gotta shower... but if he showered right before he left and just "feels like his nuts are sweaty" after playing PS3 with his boys... go ahead and slap him now. You have my permission.

5. Odd Items

You've never seen those panties before. He swears they're yours. You aren't crazy, he's full of it. This also goes for random earrings and tubes of lipgloss.

6. New (additional) Grooming Habits

Aside from scrubbing himself raw... If he's taken a sudden interest in wearing new cologne, buying new boxers, or dressing differently... you have reason for suspicion.

7. MIA

He went to the gas station for a cigar and he's been gone for two hours?? In your car???... AND he can't answer his phone?? Man, fuck that dude. I hate that dude. He can die. Let's make a deal with God that he can give Michael Jackson back and take that asshole instead. SMFH. (this also goes for Mr. "I'm on my way".. and shows up four hours later.

8. Lipstick on the Collar.

It's a classic. No explanation needed.

9. Cell Phone Records and Credit Card Bills.

CLARIFICATION: Unless they are in BOTH of your names... you don't TECHNICALLY have a right to look at these and ALL arguments will be nullified by your lack of respect for his privacy ... (the same could be said for his actual cell phone)

BUT... if you just so happen to see it.... cuz he left it on his desk... Muthafucka, that shit was fair game....

10. Guy Time

He's suddenly with his friends all the time. And what more? Apparently you've been together for three years and "don't know these guys".... It's probably because they don't exist... and if you have been together for three years and haven't met his friends... rest assured, you are NOT the only one.