8:49

Late night call from
my baby daddy.
wants me to come pick him up.
at 11:00pm.
Ummmmm,
HELLO!
our daughter is in bed.
AND it's COLD.
absolutely not.


Early morning text from
THE EX.
He wants to hang out today.
What's with him lately?
He must be fussing with his new girl.
I try to pin him down to a certain time.
He stops responding.


oh....wait.
he's calling.


says he's gonna drop
something off.
handle some business,
and be on his way.
here.
*sighs*
Well,
I know one thing for sure.
He ain't gettin' no ass.

6:00

Texts back and forth.
with THE EX.
Says i agreed to go to a concert with him.
out of town.
that i should "keep my word".
I won't be guilted into this.
How lame.
I tell him to take his new girl.
He says it wouldn't be right without me.
he'd rather just not go.
I say,
Then don't.
no more texts.


5xs texts.
asks me something random.
i text back.
i'm short.
i called things off.
why is he still texting?
men always want what they can't have.
he texts again.


"whats up mami? tell me something good"


i don't reply.

11:14

oops.
facebook guy.


i almost forgot.
I gave him the
"we're in different places
we want different things,
let's just be friends"


It's all true.
I suppose,
it could've sounded like this:


"you're young.
I'm grown,
but I like you...
maybe for my little sister..
who still has time for the games"
*shrugs*
nice guy...
maybe if i'm still single in 5 years.

10:58

we'll play catch-up.
briefly.


I've spent a lot of time with
my baby daddy.
watching movies.
playng football with Olivia.
cooking.
cuddling.
spending the night.
no sex.


sometimes,
I guess...
it's just nice to play house...
and wish things could have worked.
They didn't.
They still don't.


I told 5xs things are over.
He just isn't doing it for me.
Some say I like to rush into things.
I say I know what I want.
and what I don't.
I like a man who is
ready to make a decision.
ready to act on impulse.
dives in head first.
knows what he wants.
5xs is none of these things...
or maybe...
he's just not that into me.


i've ignored calls an texts from
boone
and
the old-old thing.
cut short.
Like I said,
i know what I DON"T want.


Army guy got back in town last night.
He wanted to come over.
I told him no.
I know he wants to have the baby talk again.
I don't want a baby.
How many times do I have to say this??
The pressure to kick him to the curb
is mounting.


My Ex called:
"How good is your memory"
Me:
"damn good"
Him:
"Meet me at our spot at one o'clock"
*click*


*sighs*
I won't be going.
A. I didn't know we had a spot.
I wouldn't even know where to go.
B. So, he just assumes I'm free and will jump to it?
No thanks.
C. I can't see him and let him make a mess of me like last time.

6:59

i'm awake.
barely.
i didn't sleep well.
i was expecting a call,
so i had to leave my phone on.
the old-old thing called,
a million times.
i pretended to be asleep.
it woke me up.
every. single. time.
after awhile,
it made me furious.
i have a hatred towards him now.
i'm really angry.
don't fuck with my sleep.
i think he's on permanent ignore.
*yawns*
i wish i could go back to bed.
i have things to do.

9:58

oh shit.
i talked him up.
the old-old thing just called.
i WILL not become his thing on the side.
his girl goes to work at 9pm.
he pretty much called as soon
as she left.
I can't do it.
*hits ignore*

9:41

been busy. ;)
hung out with my old-old thing.


"oh, that was your man?
i thought i recognized him"
oops.


i don't want it to happen again.
as soon as he left,
i told myself i was cutting it off.


an hour later...
he text.


"can't stop thinking about you
it was so good to see you
can't wait to see each other again"


i didn't respond.


text from 5xs.
"hey beautiful stranger.
you must be mad at me."
I reply
"Why would I be mad?"
He says
"I haven't heard from you in three days"
guess he was counting.
I reply
"well then you must be mad too,
cuz i ain't heard from you either"
*silence*


My Twitter boo makes me smile.
A lot.
shhh... it's a secret.


a few texts back and forth with facebook guy.
about serious things.
how he feels about marriage.
and kids.
and the future.
now, that's potential.
*sighs*
i still don't know his situation.


random text from boyfriend #2
apparently he wants to


"eat my pussy with a spork" =/


a call from boone.
i dismiss it.
o_O


after a brief conversation last night,
i was inspired to hit up another old thing,
"Big O"
via facebook.
i *might* be making plans to go to Chicago...
once football season is over ;)